Bondage and Discipline: The mystique behind BSDM Essay

Abstract Dating back to as far as 1969, Bondage and Discipline or BDSM is a form of sexual actions performed with abnormal dominance and submissions. An exotic sexual preference mostly involving role playing restraint, with the aid of foreign objects such as tassel tipped whips, paddles, gagging, etc. BDSM is derivative of Sadism and Masochism branch, only falling under separate concentration due to excessive and abnormal sexual tortures. Most sexual involvements require safe words; just incase the level of kink is surpassed and the recipient no longer feels a sense of sexual euphoria, and more of a urgency of danger. It is fairly normal for older couples to experiment BDSM, as well as mostly affecting the older population (40 and up). BDSM is affected by the population due to having much skeptical criticism amongst foreign communities. Keywords: BDSM, Sadism, Masochism, Kink The mystique behind Bondage and Discipline. Sweeping the nation in awkward fashion around the 1960’s, Bondage sex had apparently become the new â€Å"thing† or latest crave kids were partaking in. Bondage sex is a relative of the BDSM family, with the â€Å"B† standing for of course Bondage. Bondage and Discipline gives monotonous couples a little excitement in the bedroom. A most common reason behind bondage is so that both couples may gain pleasure from the restraint position in which one or the other may dwell in, while the pursuer engages in the thought of full dominance over the participant. People who take interest in this are known as Sadomasochistic. While some sadomasochistic people take pleasure in the sexual thrill of bondage sex, others benefit from the visual just as much. While this may be strange, but still done to this day, this may trigger  several questions toward mass society: 1) Why do people perform bondage sex? 2) Is it safe? 3) What sexual thrill do its occupants receive? 4) Is it actually helping keep relationships strong? Understanding that the usage of this may be limited due to the age of its occupants, it is safe to say that most children are not entertaining the idea of having Bondage and Discipline sex with their peers, nor will they be pursuing it anytime soon. Of course, we live in a world of curiosity, so it is not safe to count the younger generation out. However, sexual activity via teenagers is at an all time high, and easy access to porn sites makes it easier for little old Tommy or Susie to stumble upon the idea. Why do people perform bondage sex? Many couples incorporate Bondage sex into their lives, only to find it is sort of relationship steroid or adrenaline shot. Ever play fought with your mate before enticing them in a sexual comfort zone? Or teasing them toward the brink of hormonal eruption, whereas he or she is immensely aroused and will not stop at nothing to pursue a pleasant sexual endeavor? If so, then you have no need for this act. Bondage sex is usually incorporated into bland relationships lacking sexual drive. BDSM can either implement a spark or an explosion in sexual climax if used correctly. Bondage discipline strengthens the trust of both partners because the activity pushes the limits of each partner, bringing them beyond their typical comfort zone. The exotic mixture of fear and pleasure forms a potent concoction of euphoria. This fusion also forces both cohorts to instill a mammoth like trust in one another. It also helps the two (unlimited) in knowing each other better both mentally and physically. Und erstanding that with each slap, spank, lip-biting gesture could be a signal or pleasure or pain raises the enigma of how well you really know your significant other, being that one mistake or missed warning sign could be their last. Is it safe? Of course Bondage sex is not safe, that is what causes the sexual thrill of the activity. BDSM IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. Some couples will not be willing to journey out unto unfamiliar territory. Then again, we are humans, we are  known for being risk takers. Since the dawn of time humankind has risked everything into journeying into the unknown. For instance, in 1969 in attempts in beating the Soviets in the venturous Space Race, an audacious country (USA) sent three brave men, (Neil Armstrong, Edwin â€Å"Buzz† Aldrin, and Michael Collins were sent to the moon. Not only were they sent in attempts to beat out the Soviets, but to explore the unknown. You see, not anything we carry out is out of harm’s way. We dwell in times in which we may all perish by missiles, be engulfed in the rage of war, and drowned due to our lack of concern of the ozone layer and constant ignorance of quickly deteriorating polar caps. With that being said, if we were to place the two on an imagina ry Libra Scale, it is evident that bondage sex would be on the higher end. Also, another reason in why Bondage sex can be safer than what media portrays it to be, would be due to objects being used. Many adult toy companies are devising toys that with stringent safety precautions, as well as rising the age of the consumers to buy their product to 21 and up. There was a time when sex toys were a taboo, yet gradually, due to today’s generation, sex toys have become more blatant and commonly shown on late night commercials. This caused adult toy companies to take a step for the better. By creating smarter, innovative sex toys, scientist have derived adult toys the aid sexually and implemented devices that contribute toward the health of its users, such as therapeutic benefits for both men and women. For example, men who suffer from erectile dysfunction and abridged penile consciousness and women who partake in the usage of vibrators also stimulate vaginal blood flow. These enhancements also strengthen orgasms and the release of superior good-feeling hor mones. Due to the step-up in sexual toys, these altercations have made it safer for its users as well as implementing the devices for various uses. (Ashton, Devon G. â€Å"The Key Archives/BDSM Mystique 2010) Also, buzzing through the BDSM community is the term SSC. This stands for safe, sane, and consensual. Safe: this term is used to ensure that both users enacting in bondage activities should place health and safety at their highest priority. This reduces mistakes and problems; however there will  always be typical casualties amongst inexperienced users. Sane: client must partake in their right frame of mind when enacting in BDSM related activities.(Fredder, James. â€Å"Dr. Drew On Call.† HLNtv.com. BDSMreviews, 12 Sept. 2009) Noted, that these actions should not be undergone while under the influence of alcohol or drugs of any kind, for even if they enhance the experience, they also pall the users vision of clarity. Finally Consensual: All activities should have 100% consent from both parties. Consent from both partners allows actions that are made to be swift, and hoist trust between both. Also to keep in mind, even if consent from each party is of maximum percentage, legal consent may not create a difference between criminalist behaviors, and may fall liable upon any injury caused. Ultimately there is no such thing as being safe enough. Injury can occur at anytime, and it is up to both partners if BDSM activities are fit for them. No matter the activity, you can enhance you and your partner’s safety by properly following SSC, as well as possessing a mutual respect for each others body and responsibility. What sexual thrill do its occupants receive? In most cases, BDSM activities are done based on thrill. But before we go into detail the reader most know the roper definition of thrill. As defined by www.Dictionary.com, thrill is a sudden feeling of excitement or pleasure, (of an emotion or sensation) pass with nervous tremor. Also you should be informed on the term sexual thrill. As defined by www.Dictionary.com, sexual thrill is chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Now there are three types of thrills in which a Sadomasochistic person may partake in: 1) Visual thrill: Upon gaining sensation in visualizing others in BDSM activities. 2) Physical thrill: The intense sensation in partaking in BDSM activities. 3) Olfactory thrill: The urge of smelling someone held captive in BDSM activities. Depending of the user, each thrill initiates their endorphins in an unbridled frenzy. Visual thrill users usually do not get to intense with BDSM activities. Although the relish seeing oth ers in BDSM activities, they themselves may not want to engage in such activities, and usually their addiction can be controlled with the simple click of a mouse. Although others, such as Cuckold Visual Thrillers, usually pay other people to partake in BDSM related activates with their spouse and watch. Physical  thrill users are your typical run of the mill porno visualization guys and gals. These usually are the people that pop up in you head when you the Bondage and Discipline related activities. Depending on preference, these people usually dress in leather and gag their partners. Their acts usually involve handcuffed role play as well as external and internal mutilation. Being that they dress for the role and that they use a heavy amount of foreign objects, Physical thrill users usually construct a safe word. A safe word is usually a simple word used for when BDSM activities have placed one of the occupants in unfamiliar or painful territory; this causes the oppressor in ceasing in what they were doing and if necessary, to discontinue the session. The weirdest of them all, Olfactory thrillers, take a sexual thrill in smelling someone held captive in BDSM related activities. Usually, since BDSM clients wear leather for what ever purposes, the smell of leather, fear, and sex triggers OFT pleasant receptors, this gives them a feeling of elevated sexual sensation. Within the BDSM community, 78% say that OFT receives a stronger sexual sensation, and cause enormous orgasms. Bondage Discipline Submission Masochism based scientist have credited this theory. Lionel B. Wilkes, led researcher and developer in BDSM related activities states, â€Å"Olfactory thrill users tend to engage in an earlier and longer lasting sexual high due to the aroma compromising a supplementary and immediate itinerary toward cerebral brain receptors, which cause immense affect toward Dopamine receptors.† This simply means that because the occupant smells BDSM activities, the chances of the smell entering the nose and accessing the brain’s pleasant receptors and causing a sexual high, are extremely exponential. Noting that each thrill has its perks, it is not uncommon for some people to encompass a fixation of all three, these users are universal thrill seekers. This usually occurs in seasoned BDSM patients who have experienced a certain form of thrill so many times that the thrill became less appealing. To awaken their desire for BDSM activities, they partook in oth er thrills. It’s sort of like eating bland pizza for a while, and then you decide to add some hot sauce to it; this is how Universal users operate. Doing anything they can to maintain the feeling of euphoric sensation; even after the brain has developed a callus for it. Is it actually helping keep relationships strong? There are many reasons why Bondage and Discipline is used. Some people do it for the experience; just to they did it, while others do it for the peace the feel within themselves. Yet most of the time, couples do to intensify relationships. Understanding that 56% of the population partaking in BDSM related events are place in the 40 year old plus percentile, it evident that couples are using it to spice things up. After being married to some one for 20+ years, in bed experience may be lacking; most men around that age suffer from erectile dysfunction, which places a hassle on fulfilling their significant others sexual needs. Women around the ages 44-45 usually undergo painful menstruation cycles, thus declining the urge of sexual desire. By implementing Bondage activities in a slowly decomposing relationship ushers life. You reach heights in which you have never journeyed; you learn more about your significant other than ever before. Recent studies have shown, most married couples know about 48% of their significant others. Wow! Being together with someone for 20 or more years and to know only 48%?! Bondage and Discipline activities instill a major amount of trust in a relationship. In performing these acts, it is vital that you and your partner know each others limits; and by limits, the smallest gesture can be vital! If you do not know your significant others facial expression when they are in pain or enjoying themselves, then it is about time you learn. Being that BDSM activities are extremely dangerous, you have to have major trust in your partner. In an article published by ABC titled â€Å"Love hurts: Sadomasochism Danger.† ABC documents a 67 year old man who passed out and lost consciences in a sex club after participating in a BDSM scene. He lost consciousness while hanging his arms from a cross. The article explains that the damage was so severe; it took him a couple of days to recover. I believe this compliments my point, in which you should not partake in BDSM activities with anyone. (Lars, Hannah S. â€Å"Sex Toys – Combine Sexual Pleasure with Health Benefits.† Yahoo Contributor Network. Yahoo, July-Aug. 2008) Judy Kuriansky, a sex psychologist, says, â€Å"There is a triumvirate of guilt, embarrassment, and fear of intimacy for these people†¦ It’s rare that all of the sudden they can give up on being interested in pain and suddenly  capable of being loved.† I highly agree with Dr. Kuriansky, except for the phrase, â€Å"intimacy for these people†¦Ã¢â‚¬  As a result of information for www.BDSMfordummies.com they combat that the intimacy of Bondage and Discipline users should be sacred and held others of intimate meaning. Basically saying that these intimate acts should be held with intimate people; which prove my theory, which BDSM is just as safe as the users who partake in it. Essentially, a lot of harm can be avoided if you partake in it with someone you know. Psychosexual and relationship therapist Simone Bienne continued, â€Å"That’s certainly one thing that the BDSM community is very, very proud of — how they are able to communicate and thi s is essential how it spills out — the sexual relationship spills out into the emotional side of the relationship because you are able to manage conflict better because of strong communication.† (Laundry, Michelle. â€Å"32 Shocking Statistics of Relationship Insecurity.† McKinley Irvin. MCIB/Stats, Feb.-Mar. 2005. Web. 05 Apr. 2014.) All in all, Bondage Discipline is an extremely interesting and exotic way to rekindle a fading relationship, as well as arousing yourself. Although BDSM is pretty much for anyone, it should be for older people; by older I mean 21 and up. Of course I have no say in what people do behind closed doors, yet due to the information I have provided, and thanks to several credited websites, Bondage sex is very risky, and can also harm if placed in the hands of the young and inexperienced. Maybe it’s our desire to experience love in a different rendition, maybe it’s or innovative ways, or maybe, just maybe, it is our thirst to explore the unknown. References Ashton, Devon G. â€Å"The Key Archives/BDSM Mystique.† The Key RSS. XPN.org/thekey, May-June 2010. Web. 5 Apr. 2014. Fredder, James. â€Å"Dr. Drew On Call.† HLNtv.com. BDSMreviews, 12 Sept. 2009. Web. 30 Mar. 2014. Lars, Hannah S. â€Å"Sex Toys – Combine Sexual Pleasure with Health Benefits.† Yahoo Contributor Network. Yahoo, July-Aug. 2008. Web. 09 Apr. 2014. Laundry, Michelle. â€Å"32 Shocking Statistics of Relationship Insecurity.† McKinley Irvin. MCIB/Stats, Feb.-Mar. 2005. Web. 05 Apr. 2014. Michaelis, Viktoria. â€Å"Top 5 Benefits of Using Sex Toys – Viktoria Michaelis.† Viktoria Michaelis. PBS/top5benefit, 5 Nov. 2013. Web. 03 Apr. 2014. Perkins, Ronald. â€Å"What Is BDSM?† Examiner.com. GoogleinfoBDSM, 4 Dec. 2012. Web. 23 Mar. 2014.